Breakfast
by Serenity2893
Summary: Breakfast, the most important meal of the day. Jack cooks some eggs he "borrowed" from somewhere, Tooth attempts to create pancakes, Bunnymund wants to pulverize a certain winter spirit, Sandy wants nothing to do with anything, and North is just trying to maintain order. What could go wrong?


**A/N: I have no idea if the Guardians actually get hungry or not. For the sake of this story, let's just say that they do.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Rise of the Guardians.**

* * *

When North walked into his kitchen, preparing to steal some cookie dough and sneak away unseen, he definitely had not expected to see _this_.

Slightly troubled, he inquired, "Jack. What...What are you doing?"

The white haired teen looked up from the pan of fried eggs he was currently cooking over the stove that North did not know existed. Upon spotting the slightly disgruntled man, he waved cheerfully.

"I'm cooking breakfast, North! Breakfast! The most important meal of the day!"

For North, whose "meals" had mostly consisted of a cup of coffee and a plate of cookies, the concept of "breakfast" was rather foreign and utterly terrifying.

Jack added more salt to the eggs.

At this point, Bunnymund came barging into the room. "Say, North, I've seem to have lost a couple of my eggs. D'you have any clue where I could find 'em?"

North was suddenly struck with a terrible realization.

Jack pushed the eggs around the pan.

Apparently, Bunnymund had come to the same conclusion as North for he shrieked in horror and turned to gape at Jack.

"North...Tell me that...Please tell me that Frosty did _not_ just USE MY EGGS TO MAKE A SUNNY SIDE UP!"

North stroked his beard nervously. "Um...He did not use your eggs to make a very delicious looking sunny side up?"

"DON'T LIE TO ME!" Bunnymund lunged for Jack, who jumped into the air, still holding the pan of eggs.

"Hey, Jack! Don't leave the fire on!" North attempted to insert some semblance of precaution into this rather hazardous scene. Unfortunately, his desperate plea went unheard as Bunnymund grasped wildly for the laughing winter spirit who was flitting about the room.

Sandy glided into the room, coming to float at North's side. He looked up at North, a question mark of sand forming above his hand. North appeared to be pulling his beard off in his frustration.

"I do not quite understand what is happening here, Sandy. Perhaps you could aid me in restoring some order?"

Sandy took one look at Jack (Who was dumping the eggs onto Bunnymund's head.) and Bunnymund (Who was screeching about his sensitive ears) and turned away from the wild catastrophe all together.

"Is that a no?"

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Bunnymund had finally wiped the yolk out of his fur, Tooth had joined them, and they were all seated around the cluttered table, each with a stack of pancakes on their plate.

Jack drizzled some maple syrup on top of his pancakes.

North attempted to start a conversation. "So, Bunnymund, do you now understand why Christmas is a more important and thus, better holiday than Easter? After all, eggs have just recently caused us much trouble."

Evidently, this was the wrong thing to say.

Bunnymund, still quite enraged over the fact that Jack had _cooked_ his eggs slammed his fork into the table with enough force that it stuck there. "You take that back, mate! My eggs are not to blame for this!"

Jack released a cough that sounded suspiciously like, "You're getting defensive over an egg." before frowning at the maple syrup bottle. Popping the cap completely off with a satisfied grin, Jack dumped the _entire_ contents of the container onto his pancakes.

"THEY ARE INNOCENT, DEFENSELESS CREATURES THAT WERE SUBJECTED TO COMPLETELY IMMORAL TORTURE AT THE HANDS OF THAT BOY!" Bunnymund pointed to Jack in a fury, who was too preoccupied spooning powdered sugar onto his plate to notice.

Bunnymund was about to continue ranting about the demonic actions of Jack when he was interrupted by Tooth's scream. Everyone turned to look at the fairy who was staring at Jack's plate with a mixture of disgust, fear, and horror. Jack looked up.

"Jack, dear? Do you...do you know how much sugar is on your plate right now?"

Jack seemed to think about this for quite some time. "Um...a lot?"

These words seemed to prompt Tooth to fly into a complete Mother Hen mode.

"Jack! That will rot your teeth! All that sugar! All that carbon! The horror! Young man, go upstairs and brush your teeth RIGHT THIS INSTANT! I will be making you a new batch of pancakes, ones that will not completely devastate your dental health like a tornado on a house of hay!" Tooth flew over to the boy, swatting him about the head anxiously.

Jack, unable to do much else, complied by trudging up the steps with one last longing look at his sugary confection.

"DON"T FORGET TO FLOSS!"

* * *

Ten minutes later, Jack had brushed his teeth (And flossed), Bunnymund and Tooth had calmed down, and they were all seated around the cluttered table, each with a stack of pancakes on their plate.

Jack poked at his stack with his fork rather dubiously. "Is this...safe to eat?" He seemed rather doubtful.

"Just because it isn't covered in sugar does not mean that it isn't delicious! I made those beauties myself! Now, try them!" Tooth smiled at him warmly that conveyed the hidden message of extremely excruciating death if the pancakes were not eaten.

Jack took a bite.

The reaction was immediate.

Blue eyes widened as Jack doubled over, making various sounds that either was him throwing up or a pitiful attempt to imitate an injured walrus.

The teen made a noise and rested his forehead on the table. "It...It's...great. It tastes great."

He did not sound very convincing.

Bunnymund rolled his eyes at Jack's lack of maturity. "It can't be THAT bad!" He reached over and took a forkful from the side that Jack didn't touch.

He took bite.

The Pooka fell out of his chair, his ears twitching.

"F-Frosty's absolutely right. It-it tastes...wonderful."

North sighed. "Let's all be mature adults here. Toothiana has made some wonderful pancakes for us, and there is no reason that we shouldn't enjoy-."

Sandy shoved a portion of it into his mouth.

It was the absolute WORST thing North had EVER tasted in all of history. Somewhere in the middle of the slimy texture, he thought he could detect a hint of uncooked...chicken? He wasn't an expert on this, really, but he didn't think that meat was supposed to go into pancakes.

Leaping out of his chair, he ran at top speed toward the nearest elf, leaping over obstacles with agility that could only come from the adrenaline rush one feels when their life is in mortal danger.

He snatched the milk up and downed the entire thing in one go before promptly collapsing on the floor.

Tooth pouted. "I don't understand why you guys don't like it! I mean, come on! Sandy likes it!"

Everyone turned to ogle the survivor.

Sandy was calmly eating the pancakes.

Without complaint.

And with a content smile on his face.

Jack voiced all of their thoughts.

"You-You're not human."

Sandy replied with a simple sand message.

_"Neither are any of you."_

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Bunnymund and Jack had drunken several glasses of milk, Tooth had beamed at Sandy and glared at the rest of them, and they were all seated around the cluttered table, with nothing on each of their plates.

North attempted to lighten the mood and escape from Tooth's oppressive glare.

"So! What is for breakfast, hm?"

Jack looked up at him.

"North?"

"Yes?"

"It's lunchtime."


End file.
